Finally Inspiration!

“To often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia.”

I have been struggling for a long time trying to find inspiration to write here again. I’ve been wanting too, but every time I would log on I would be at a loss for words or ideas. Finally though I feel I have found my inspiration.

I spent a good portion of my evening tonight watching YouTube videos of inspiring and uplifting messages/stories. SoulPancake makes amazing videos that I encourage you to check out.  One of their more popular videos would be their Kid President one, and recently they did a documentary about Zach Sobiech (which is quite possibly the most beautiful story I’ve ever seen, and  if you haven’t seen it yet make sure you do). Sadly Zach lost his battle with cancer today, but he’s left behind a legacy that will be remembered forever.

People like Zach, and those who run the Soul Pancake channel give me hope in humanity. Daily we are reminded of how awful people can be, and how easy it is to take everything we have for granted. It’s rare that we see acts of kindness,  compassion, and bravery.

As often as I try to be a better person each day, and try to make a difference in other peoples life sometimes life get’s busy and I forget to go above and beyond for others, or I let small petty problems seem like a bigger deal than what they really are. I mean I don’t become a mean person, and I don’t stop caring about others but I don’t do as much as I would like to.

I know this has been done a lot, but really acts of kindness can never be done too often so I am creating a “challenge” for myself. For the next thirty days I want to perform at least 1 act of kindness (above and beyond the standard kindness we should be treating everyone with daily already) for someone each day.

I plan to blog about this throughout the month, maybe not everyday but I’ll check in often enough. I want to help show others how easy it can be to make a difference in someones day and I want to document my experience through this so that maybe the next time I let life become busy and I am finding myself taking things for granted or forgetting to stop and appreciate my surroundings I will be reminded to slow down a little bit and experience each moment as it is right now.

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Unrelated note:

I also really liked the First Date video on SoulPancake’s channel. It really reminded me of myself. I’ve always been the girl to wear her heart on her sleeve and I probably say too much when there’s someone I like, but in the end at least I always know I’m being honest and if my honesty scares them off it probably would have never work out anyways. At least I’m staying true to myself!

Anyways I’m really excited to have found inspiration to blog again, and for this challenge I’ve created for myself.

Talk to you all soon

XOXO

Kayla

I don’t wanna be anything other than me.

Lately Ive been feeling like I need to do something more. Like I need to make a differnece somehow but I don’t know how or what I am
looking for. How do you make your life matter? I want to know I’m affecting someones life in a positive way that leaves a real impact.
I feel like right now I’m just living, but I’m not doing anything important, or making any sort of lasting impact.

One of my favorite T.V shows “One Tree Hill” came to an end last night. This show has always been a huge inspiration for me. I’ve
never connected with a show like I have with “One Tree Hill” It’s weird to have grown up with a show, and watch it come to an end. For
the last 9 years One Tree Hill has been a huge part of my life, bigger then I could have ever imagined. Which is weird since it is
just a show, but it’s also so much more. I was in 10th grade when One Tree Hill began. I really do believe part of who am I is because
of what I learned from watching this show. It definitely has always inspired me to make my life matter, and to do great things.

I put a lot of emotion behind everything I do. I always consider the fact that everything I’m doing has the ability to change my life,
and to leave a lasting memory so I always try to make whatever I am doing count. I really think a huge part of why I’m like that is
from this show, or maybe I connect with the show so well because I am like that? I guess I’m not sure but I do know One Tree Hill has
given me direction, courage, and it has taught me a lot about myself. I’ve learned about my compassion, and to never be afraid to care
too much about anything. I’m never in fear of loving something or someone too much, and I don’t regret taking chances. I’m not afraid
of rejection. I’ll always regret not sharing my feelings so openly or to have others not know how I feel, but I’ll never regret the
fact that I did share my feelings. Rejection and dissapointment is a part of life and it’s important to experience it. It’s how you
learn about yourself and what’s important to you.

Back to the show for a second.. I feel like it’s time for it to end, but I’ll miss having it in my life. It’s the end of an era. The
show had such a beautiful cast and it was awesome watching them grow up with the show. It may have not always been the most creative  story line or the best acting but they always did everything in their own way and made it special. They new how to connect with their fans, and they created really inspiring messages during every season. In my opinion the best and most real episode was the school shooting. Which was a huge epsiode for the remaing premise of the show, if you are a fan you know what I am talking about. That episode was so real, and important. It would be impossible to not grasp the emotion behing every scene in that episode. Of course
there was tons of other episodes that were amazing, and heart warming, or inspiring. I just think that one was exceptionally amazing. My love for music began with this show, music is a huge part of “One Tree Hill” and the show really showed me how much music can affect your life and your feelings. Music is therapy to me now and a huge part of my life, so I’m very thankful this show helped me find that. It was a show about growing up, like tons of shows are but this one just knew how to really connect with the fans.

The biggest impact I get from this show is how everything we do affects everyones life and it’s important to do great things so that you
make real impact that matters. Last nights episode reminded me how important it is to me to make a difference but I’m still struggling
with how to. Maybe there isn’t one thing that I can do that will fufill this feeling. Maybe I’ll never feel like I’m making an impact,
I’m not sure. I guess we all search and wonder what were supposed to be doing right? Still I have this feeling there is something
more I can be doing, I just need to find it. Until then I’ll just keep being me because I know through all my faults I have a lot of
great qualities too and I will eventually find exactly what I am supposed to be doing. Until then I’ll just continue this lovely roller coaster called life.

Make a wish and place it in your heart.
Anything you want, everything you want.
Do you have it? Good!
Now believe it can come true.
You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from.
The next memory, the next smile, the next whish come true.
But if you believe that it’s right around the corner
and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it,
to the certainty of it.
You just might get the thing you wished for,
The world is full of magic.
You just have to believe in it.
So make your wish. Do you have it?
Good! Now believe in it with all your heart.

Sharing inspiration.

I just read a blog from one of my favorite musician and writer Chad Sugg, I related so much to what he had said that I want to share it.

“I’m pretty sure I’m like everyone you’ve ever met, and I’m like no one you’ve ever met.
I have the same emotions/feelings as everyone, I just express them differently.
I’m quiet. Until you get to know me
I get nervous about things most people probably wouldn’t even notice in day to day life.
I love humans.
I hate how humans treat each other.
I like things that make me feel nostalgic.
When I have nightmares, I wake up and have to turn my TV on to feel safe.
You know when people say they “have big imaginations”? Well, mine really does reach a bit too far at times, in both good and bad ways. It’s why I’m afraid of the dark. It’s also why I believe I like so many of the things I enjoy.
I don’t receive compliments well when they come from people who are close to me, I think it’s because I respect their opinions so much.
I love making friends, but it takes a certain kind of person for me to feel comfortable enough to talk to them regularly.
I hate negativity. (Is that a double negative?)
I like people helping people, and I like when people help people.

When are we gonna realize we’re all the same? We’re all hurting, happy, lost, beautiful, ugly, young, old, tired, learning, trying to forget, trying to remember, wandering, wondering, dreaming… But we don’t know it. We’re all so surprised to hear someone feels the same way as we do. We’re all so shocked when someone “gets it” like we do. Why is that?

I get it, we’re all different… But, I’m beginning to think that pales to the comparison of how alike we are. We all want to be different, but we also want to be the same. We want acceptance. We want love. We want to be heard. We want friends. We want it all.

We’re weird. Humans, that is.
I like it”.

The stuff in purple is stuff I added, otherwise it is no way my own words. Just something I 100% agree with and relate to.

On another note I just was directed to this musician Ed Sheeran and I am in love! Check him out … right now.

Okay time to take my sick self back to bed.

XOXO

Kayla

2012

I hate “resolutions” I think calling something a resolution automatically sets it up for failure. Besides I make goals all year-long, not just on January 1st. It is however impossible to not think about new goals, or dreams you want to achieve when everyone else is running around talking about it,

So for this year, I have a few things in mind I want to continue to achieve, and a few things I’d like to begin.

  • I want to start volunteering. Where is yet to be determined but I’ve thought a lot about it lately and I really want to give back. I am so fortunate in so many ways that I’d love to help others, even if it’s just a small factor in their lives.
  • I want to continue to push myself to try new things, and to force myself to try things I’d normally refuse.
  • I want to continue (well more so get back on track) my healthy lifestyle.
  • I want to embrace my inner girlishness (more so than I already do) .. This one is sort of selfish, and fun. Being girly makes me feel relaxed and happy. Shopping, Accessorizing, Massages, Facials, Baths, and Crafts. It’s my personal R&R and I want to continue to embracing it as a gift to myself.
  • I want to spend more time with my family.
  • I want to go to more concerts/shows.
  • I want to read more.

I could probably continue thinking and come up with a list of a million goals I want to achieve, but mostly I just want to keep being me. I want to make mistakes, so  can learn from them, I want to inspire people, and be inspired. I want to laugh, live, and love.

I will make this year better than any other year (might as well it might be our last :p)

Happy 2012 Everyone!

xoxo Kayla

2011 Recap

 

I was adventuring around the interweb tonight, reading random blogs and all that wonderful stuff when I realized a common theme. A lot of bloggers have been answering questions about the past year so that they can reflect on what they have overcome, what they have accomplished, and what they maybe didn’t accomplish. Then they answered another set of questions about the upcoming year. What they want to accomplish, their goals and need I say it “resolutions” (I don’t fully believe in resolutions but I’ll explain that later).

All this got me thinking about my past year, and how different my life is today, compared to one year ago. I don’t want to answer the list of questions I read because honestly for most of the questions I thought about what my answers would be and most of them would have been the generic typical answers. I do however want to take a few moments to reflect on 2011.

2011 tested me in so many different ways, which I am really thankful for. I’ve learned so much about myself this year. I put myself in a rather low place  in 2010/2011. I didn’t have much going on (I wasn’t in school, I didn’t work, and I spent my days doing a lot of nothing), I was dealing with a relationship roller coaster, and most of all I wasn’t proud of anything I was doing. Then I decided enough is enough, and I made myself fix things.

Throughout the year I accomplished things I’ve never done before, I’ve become so much more independent, I’ve developed a new confidence in myself, and I’ve learned that my life can be anything I want it to be but I will be the only one to make it happen. I can honestly say now that I’m proud of myself, who I am, where I am, and where I want to be. I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I have faith in myself that I will continue to make my life amazing.

I would have never gotten through all the obstacles without my amazing friends and family. I have a great support system (which I have mentioned over and over throughout my blog but it’s so true). You can’t really ever fall completely if you have people like them holding you up :) I love you all!

Adios 2011 .. I more than excited for 2012!

You should watch this.

What are your thoughts on this video? It’s a little heartbreaking at the end I think. The momma bird looks so confused and lost on where her babies went. Could you imagine just leaving your Mom/Family once you reached a certain age without them knowing, and never going to visit them again? Sure we eventually go out on our own but we always (usually) have ties with our families still.

I have never heard of The Weepies, or there song “Be My Honeypie” but this video is so heart warming and cute.

It kind of reminds me of one of my favorite songs from Bright Eyes “First Day of My Life”

Not sure if I’ve posted that before or not so I will again just in case!

**Update: Turns out I have heard of The Weepies, just never knew it. Definitely a fan**

Would you change anything?

I heard this on the radio this morning and wanted to share. It’s so easy to be swept up in our daily routines that I think sometimes we forget what’s REALLY important. If you were dying and looked back at your life right now .. what you have done differently, is there anything you wish you did more of? After you answer that question … do it. Whatever it is, just make the change.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Source

Love youself

I saw this quote on one of the blogs I read (Goodmorning & Goodnight):

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” ~Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

Such a beautiful quote, and very true. Love makes you want to better yourself and to make everything around you better. Then I thought about the fact that more then ever in this moment of my life I’m trying harder then I ever have to better myself and everything in my life. Then I realized .. it’s because I love myself more then I ever have before. The quote never mentions when you love someone else, just when you love.

Ona completely random note I thought I should mention … anytime I spell the word beautiful for some reason I have to say it in my head like b-e-a-utiful. Hahaha I know that’s from a movie but I can’t remember which .. does anyone know?

Is it weird …

that sometimes “sad” songs make me happier?

Either this is an odd quirk about me or it’s pretty common. I’m sure the mood I am in before I listen to these “sad” songs makes a difference but sometimes after listening to “Sad”, and I put Sad in quotations because I’m not sure if everyone would consider them sad, but I do.  Maybe they aren’t sad they just sound sad but there more inspiring instead?, idk but I get this feeling that I can’t explain … it’s a good feeling though.

Does anyone get what I’m talking about?

This week has been busy and long. Getting up at 4am sure is an adjustment.

I’ve began working out everyday before work. Which means I am up at 4am, at the gym by 4:20 am.

I love the feeling that I am doing something so wonderful for myself. I hope I stick with it, working out is so important. Even if you don’t want to lose weight. It helps your body so much. It’s just something you need to do, End of story. I decided to do it before work because then I won’t get busy, or make excuses.

It’s hard getting up at 4am sometimes, but what’s helped me the most is that I announced I’m doing this on my Facebook. So I have all my family and friends keeping my accountable. That’s actually helped a lot! I can guarantee I would let myself go back to sleep if I hadn’t done that. Once I get to the gym I’m motivated, and ready to go. My biggest thing is getting up and going so I’m really glad I shared this with others so that I actually do go. I plan to share more about this as I continue so stay tuned on that :)

I’m definitely living my life for me right now. Not in a selfish way though, at all. I’m spending more time with everyone I care about, working out to stay healthy and to get healthier, working hard at my job, and focusing on my future. It makes me excited when I think of all the awesome things going on right now. Sometimes I think wow all this good stuff is going on, what’s going to go bad? Then I realize everything that’s good is because I’m focused on my life and improving it. It’s not fate that’s making it good, it’s hard work and dedication and nothing besides giving up can take it away. I like having control of my happiness.

I hope everyone whose reading has had a good week!