Remembering Day 1

I was reading old blog posts tonight, and in one of my posts there was a song clip. As I played the song instantly memories of when I first started my blog came flooding back.

The weather was warming up, and the smells of summer surrounded me.

I lived in the pink painted basement of my mothers basement.

My life was literally starting over (well okay… not completely starting over of course but sometimes I get dramatic) Big changes (good and bad) were happening, and I was ready for a fresh start and I was determined to create greatness for myself.

I picked up my laptop, and started writing whatever was on my mind. Sharing my story with whoever cared to read it.

Shortly I began to recognize what was happening. I wasn’t just sharing silly posts, or posting an inspiring quote. I was giving myself the courage to change myself. Blogging helped clear my head, and it gave me an outlet to really figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. I would turn music on, make myself comfortable on my oversized bed, and word by word I would release the jumbeled thoughts inside of my head onto my virtual paper.

With each post I felt the stress I had caused myself lift off my shoulders, I had a more positive attitude, I felt direction, and I was happy.

My first blog post was on May 8th, 2011, I cannot believe that was almost 3 years ago! At that time I was just coming off of the end of a long relationship, I moved back into my mothers house, had just started a new job, and I was ready to make some big changes.

To even sum up all that has happened in the last 3 years would take forever. For a quick recap though I now am still happily (for the most part) single, I live in a 2 bedroom duplex by myself with 4 little fur-babies, I am still at the same job (plus I began working at a 2nd job), and most importantly I’ve shown myself if I want something I can get it, I am worth it, and I will make it happen.

I need to be here again I think, there’s some things I’ve lost sight of and other things that need to change. I’m not going to go in detail tonight but it will all unravel again like it did before. In the past I always tried to force myself back to blogging, which I’ve learned I can’t do. When I’m at a place where I need it, then I’ll bring myself back and as it seems here I am.

Finally Inspiration!

“To often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia.”

I have been struggling for a long time trying to find inspiration to write here again. I’ve been wanting too, but every time I would log on I would be at a loss for words or ideas. Finally though I feel I have found my inspiration.

I spent a good portion of my evening tonight watching YouTube videos of inspiring and uplifting messages/stories. SoulPancake makes amazing videos that I encourage you to check out.  One of their more popular videos would be their Kid President one, and recently they did a documentary about Zach Sobiech (which is quite possibly the most beautiful story I’ve ever seen, and  if you haven’t seen it yet make sure you do). Sadly Zach lost his battle with cancer today, but he’s left behind a legacy that will be remembered forever.

People like Zach, and those who run the Soul Pancake channel give me hope in humanity. Daily we are reminded of how awful people can be, and how easy it is to take everything we have for granted. It’s rare that we see acts of kindness,  compassion, and bravery.

As often as I try to be a better person each day, and try to make a difference in other peoples life sometimes life get’s busy and I forget to go above and beyond for others, or I let small petty problems seem like a bigger deal than what they really are. I mean I don’t become a mean person, and I don’t stop caring about others but I don’t do as much as I would like to.

I know this has been done a lot, but really acts of kindness can never be done too often so I am creating a “challenge” for myself. For the next thirty days I want to perform at least 1 act of kindness (above and beyond the standard kindness we should be treating everyone with daily already) for someone each day.

I plan to blog about this throughout the month, maybe not everyday but I’ll check in often enough. I want to help show others how easy it can be to make a difference in someones day and I want to document my experience through this so that maybe the next time I let life become busy and I am finding myself taking things for granted or forgetting to stop and appreciate my surroundings I will be reminded to slow down a little bit and experience each moment as it is right now.

——————-

Unrelated note:

I also really liked the First Date video on SoulPancake’s channel. It really reminded me of myself. I’ve always been the girl to wear her heart on her sleeve and I probably say too much when there’s someone I like, but in the end at least I always know I’m being honest and if my honesty scares them off it probably would have never work out anyways. At least I’m staying true to myself!

Anyways I’m really excited to have found inspiration to blog again, and for this challenge I’ve created for myself.

Talk to you all soon

XOXO

Kayla

I don’t wanna be anything other than me.

Lately Ive been feeling like I need to do something more. Like I need to make a differnece somehow but I don’t know how or what I am
looking for. How do you make your life matter? I want to know I’m affecting someones life in a positive way that leaves a real impact.
I feel like right now I’m just living, but I’m not doing anything important, or making any sort of lasting impact.

One of my favorite T.V shows “One Tree Hill” came to an end last night. This show has always been a huge inspiration for me. I’ve
never connected with a show like I have with “One Tree Hill” It’s weird to have grown up with a show, and watch it come to an end. For
the last 9 years One Tree Hill has been a huge part of my life, bigger then I could have ever imagined. Which is weird since it is
just a show, but it’s also so much more. I was in 10th grade when One Tree Hill began. I really do believe part of who am I is because
of what I learned from watching this show. It definitely has always inspired me to make my life matter, and to do great things.

I put a lot of emotion behind everything I do. I always consider the fact that everything I’m doing has the ability to change my life,
and to leave a lasting memory so I always try to make whatever I am doing count. I really think a huge part of why I’m like that is
from this show, or maybe I connect with the show so well because I am like that? I guess I’m not sure but I do know One Tree Hill has
given me direction, courage, and it has taught me a lot about myself. I’ve learned about my compassion, and to never be afraid to care
too much about anything. I’m never in fear of loving something or someone too much, and I don’t regret taking chances. I’m not afraid
of rejection. I’ll always regret not sharing my feelings so openly or to have others not know how I feel, but I’ll never regret the
fact that I did share my feelings. Rejection and dissapointment is a part of life and it’s important to experience it. It’s how you
learn about yourself and what’s important to you.

Back to the show for a second.. I feel like it’s time for it to end, but I’ll miss having it in my life. It’s the end of an era. The
show had such a beautiful cast and it was awesome watching them grow up with the show. It may have not always been the most creative  story line or the best acting but they always did everything in their own way and made it special. They new how to connect with their fans, and they created really inspiring messages during every season. In my opinion the best and most real episode was the school shooting. Which was a huge epsiode for the remaing premise of the show, if you are a fan you know what I am talking about. That episode was so real, and important. It would be impossible to not grasp the emotion behing every scene in that episode. Of course
there was tons of other episodes that were amazing, and heart warming, or inspiring. I just think that one was exceptionally amazing. My love for music began with this show, music is a huge part of “One Tree Hill” and the show really showed me how much music can affect your life and your feelings. Music is therapy to me now and a huge part of my life, so I’m very thankful this show helped me find that. It was a show about growing up, like tons of shows are but this one just knew how to really connect with the fans.

The biggest impact I get from this show is how everything we do affects everyones life and it’s important to do great things so that you
make real impact that matters. Last nights episode reminded me how important it is to me to make a difference but I’m still struggling
with how to. Maybe there isn’t one thing that I can do that will fufill this feeling. Maybe I’ll never feel like I’m making an impact,
I’m not sure. I guess we all search and wonder what were supposed to be doing right? Still I have this feeling there is something
more I can be doing, I just need to find it. Until then I’ll just keep being me because I know through all my faults I have a lot of
great qualities too and I will eventually find exactly what I am supposed to be doing. Until then I’ll just continue this lovely roller coaster called life.

Make a wish and place it in your heart.
Anything you want, everything you want.
Do you have it? Good!
Now believe it can come true.
You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from.
The next memory, the next smile, the next whish come true.
But if you believe that it’s right around the corner
and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it,
to the certainty of it.
You just might get the thing you wished for,
The world is full of magic.
You just have to believe in it.
So make your wish. Do you have it?
Good! Now believe in it with all your heart.

Sharing inspiration.

I just read a blog from one of my favorite musician and writer Chad Sugg, I related so much to what he had said that I want to share it.

“I’m pretty sure I’m like everyone you’ve ever met, and I’m like no one you’ve ever met.
I have the same emotions/feelings as everyone, I just express them differently.
I’m quiet. Until you get to know me
I get nervous about things most people probably wouldn’t even notice in day to day life.
I love humans.
I hate how humans treat each other.
I like things that make me feel nostalgic.
When I have nightmares, I wake up and have to turn my TV on to feel safe.
You know when people say they “have big imaginations”? Well, mine really does reach a bit too far at times, in both good and bad ways. It’s why I’m afraid of the dark. It’s also why I believe I like so many of the things I enjoy.
I don’t receive compliments well when they come from people who are close to me, I think it’s because I respect their opinions so much.
I love making friends, but it takes a certain kind of person for me to feel comfortable enough to talk to them regularly.
I hate negativity. (Is that a double negative?)
I like people helping people, and I like when people help people.

When are we gonna realize we’re all the same? We’re all hurting, happy, lost, beautiful, ugly, young, old, tired, learning, trying to forget, trying to remember, wandering, wondering, dreaming… But we don’t know it. We’re all so surprised to hear someone feels the same way as we do. We’re all so shocked when someone “gets it” like we do. Why is that?

I get it, we’re all different… But, I’m beginning to think that pales to the comparison of how alike we are. We all want to be different, but we also want to be the same. We want acceptance. We want love. We want to be heard. We want friends. We want it all.

We’re weird. Humans, that is.
I like it”.

The stuff in purple is stuff I added, otherwise it is no way my own words. Just something I 100% agree with and relate to.

On another note I just was directed to this musician Ed Sheeran and I am in love! Check him out … right now.

Okay time to take my sick self back to bed.

XOXO

Kayla

Pop, Lock, and Drop It

I was reading random blogs about random stuff .. random right? Anyways there was one that talked about resolutions and talked mostly about the ever so common resolution: losing weight/getting healthy/exercising … you know THAT one.

I wonder how many people actually make that resolution each year? It’s a GREAT goal, resolution, plan (whatever you want to call it) but sadly not many people keep with it. I’ll admit I’ve made that goal, and have failed at it countess times. I’m human, it’s cool .. one of these days I’ll get it!

So within all these blogs there was a lot of pictures, with inspiring quotes to make you want to get up and start running or to go eat an apple.  Most of them though are so overused though that they are as effective as a big mac.  Then I saw it .. all shiny, bright, and glowing (okay okay it’s really not that epic) but it was more real to me then any of the other “It will be hard, but it will be worth it” quotes I read. Okay are you ready for it? Dim the lights! Ladies and Gentleman, I give you … The Truth!

You’re in awe, right? I know I know. It’s a shocking truth.. to think you could go to the gym and leave feeling (dare I say it?) Good?? Yep! It’s true! I’m pretty sure I’ve never left the gym going “ugh I really wish I didn’t work out tonight” one time I fractured my toe, and lost my toe nail in result of it and I still left satisfied!

I just need to make myself more accountable, maybe if I set up something on here and promise to be honest. Then if I don’t go to the gym, or I eat something god awfully delish but full of calories I could make you all promise to say horrible things to me or come throw a rock at me? That may be a little drastic but I’ll play around with some ideas.

If you have any ideas on how to keep myself more accountable you should comment below and let me know!

XOXO Kayla

2012

I hate “resolutions” I think calling something a resolution automatically sets it up for failure. Besides I make goals all year-long, not just on January 1st. It is however impossible to not think about new goals, or dreams you want to achieve when everyone else is running around talking about it,

So for this year, I have a few things in mind I want to continue to achieve, and a few things I’d like to begin.

  • I want to start volunteering. Where is yet to be determined but I’ve thought a lot about it lately and I really want to give back. I am so fortunate in so many ways that I’d love to help others, even if it’s just a small factor in their lives.
  • I want to continue to push myself to try new things, and to force myself to try things I’d normally refuse.
  • I want to continue (well more so get back on track) my healthy lifestyle.
  • I want to embrace my inner girlishness (more so than I already do) .. This one is sort of selfish, and fun. Being girly makes me feel relaxed and happy. Shopping, Accessorizing, Massages, Facials, Baths, and Crafts. It’s my personal R&R and I want to continue to embracing it as a gift to myself.
  • I want to spend more time with my family.
  • I want to go to more concerts/shows.
  • I want to read more.

I could probably continue thinking and come up with a list of a million goals I want to achieve, but mostly I just want to keep being me. I want to make mistakes, so  can learn from them, I want to inspire people, and be inspired. I want to laugh, live, and love.

I will make this year better than any other year (might as well it might be our last :p)

Happy 2012 Everyone!

xoxo Kayla

2011 Recap

 

I was adventuring around the interweb tonight, reading random blogs and all that wonderful stuff when I realized a common theme. A lot of bloggers have been answering questions about the past year so that they can reflect on what they have overcome, what they have accomplished, and what they maybe didn’t accomplish. Then they answered another set of questions about the upcoming year. What they want to accomplish, their goals and need I say it “resolutions” (I don’t fully believe in resolutions but I’ll explain that later).

All this got me thinking about my past year, and how different my life is today, compared to one year ago. I don’t want to answer the list of questions I read because honestly for most of the questions I thought about what my answers would be and most of them would have been the generic typical answers. I do however want to take a few moments to reflect on 2011.

2011 tested me in so many different ways, which I am really thankful for. I’ve learned so much about myself this year. I put myself in a rather low place  in 2010/2011. I didn’t have much going on (I wasn’t in school, I didn’t work, and I spent my days doing a lot of nothing), I was dealing with a relationship roller coaster, and most of all I wasn’t proud of anything I was doing. Then I decided enough is enough, and I made myself fix things.

Throughout the year I accomplished things I’ve never done before, I’ve become so much more independent, I’ve developed a new confidence in myself, and I’ve learned that my life can be anything I want it to be but I will be the only one to make it happen. I can honestly say now that I’m proud of myself, who I am, where I am, and where I want to be. I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I have faith in myself that I will continue to make my life amazing.

I would have never gotten through all the obstacles without my amazing friends and family. I have a great support system (which I have mentioned over and over throughout my blog but it’s so true). You can’t really ever fall completely if you have people like them holding you up :) I love you all!

Adios 2011 .. I more than excited for 2012!

I was going through reading old blog entries of mine, and thought “I miss this” so guess what!? I’m back! Okay okay .. you can all stop applauding now, I know you missed me (please understand from this point on that I’m sarcastic 99.9% of the time). Just like before .. I do this more for me,  Writing helps me find direction in what I want to do. It makes me feel good, and I like sharing things I find with others.

If anything I ever post helps anyone who’s reading then that’s just a bonus =D

For real though .. if you read my blog then Thank You! It’s cool to know others like what you have to say. I’ll share some skittles with you or something :)

Woo Hoo! Feels good to be back. Let’s all do the hokey pokey.

https://makebelievetillnothingsreal.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/294/

 

Something I believe in so strongly but I forget so often! A while back I posted an idea about taking quotes and putting them on a poster. I plan on making that soon and this will Definitely be on it!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://makebelievetillnothingsreal.wordpress.com/2011/07/18/275/

I have never heard of The Weepies, or there song “Be My Honeypie” but this video is so heart warming and cute.

It kind of reminds me of one of my favorite songs from Bright Eyes “First Day of My Life”

Not sure if I’ve posted that before or not so I will again just in case!

**Update: Turns out I have heard of The Weepies, just never knew it. Definitely a fan**