Remembering Day 1

I was reading old blog posts tonight, and in one of my posts there was a song clip. As I played the song instantly memories of when I first started my blog came flooding back.

The weather was warming up, and the smells of summer surrounded me.

I lived in the pink painted basement of my mothers basement.

My life was literally starting over (well okay… not completely starting over of course but sometimes I get dramatic) Big changes (good and bad) were happening, and I was ready for a fresh start and I was determined to create greatness for myself.

I picked up my laptop, and started writing whatever was on my mind. Sharing my story with whoever cared to read it.

Shortly I began to recognize what was happening. I wasn’t just sharing silly posts, or posting an inspiring quote. I was giving myself the courage to change myself. Blogging helped clear my head, and it gave me an outlet to really figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. I would turn music on, make myself comfortable on my oversized bed, and word by word I would release the jumbeled thoughts inside of my head onto my virtual paper.

With each post I felt the stress I had caused myself lift off my shoulders, I had a more positive attitude, I felt direction, and I was happy.

My first blog post was on May 8th, 2011, I cannot believe that was almost 3 years ago! At that time I was just coming off of the end of a long relationship, I moved back into my mothers house, had just started a new job, and I was ready to make some big changes.

To even sum up all that has happened in the last 3 years would take forever. For a quick recap though I now am still happily (for the most part) single, I live in a 2 bedroom duplex by myself with 4 little fur-babies, I am still at the same job (plus I began working at a 2nd job), and most importantly I’ve shown myself if I want something I can get it, I am worth it, and I will make it happen.

I need to be here again I think, there’s some things I’ve lost sight of and other things that need to change. I’m not going to go in detail tonight but it will all unravel again like it did before. In the past I always tried to force myself back to blogging, which I’ve learned I can’t do. When I’m at a place where I need it, then I’ll bring myself back and as it seems here I am.

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Begin Again

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I feel like writing tonight, but I don’t know what I want to say. Ha…

I was talking with one of my friends/co-workers today about my blog, and how when I first started this blog it was such a great outlet for me to express my feelings during that point in my life. If you haven’t been a follower since the beginning of my blog I’ll give you a short cliff note version of where I was back in May of 2011. I had recently just split from my husband, beginning the divorce process, living back at home with my mother, and just starting a new job. It was a hectic, and emotional time.

Looking back at that time period now, I wouldn’t change a thing. My life seemed like such a mess but I was finally taking control. I’m not sure I’ve ever grown more as a person as I did during that time. I started this blog for fun. I had no idea what to expect from it, I just knew I liked to write and I liked sharing fun videos and pictures. Blogging was a pretty popular thing and I thought “Hey Why Not”. Little did I know it would end up being so much more for me.

As I would write about my life..the experiences I was going through, and how they made me feel I was unloading so much emotion and feelings that I would have otherwise kept built up inside of me. I would pour the words out onto my keyboard, and as I did I would begin to feel better and lighter. Eventually I reached a point where I guess my life slowed down a little. I was in my new routine of things and I felt every time I tried to write I was just giving a boring update of what I did that day and I lost my inspiration.

I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad? Maybe neither. I think I become more inspired to write when I feel a bit lost, but when things are going well I have less to unload so I lose the urge to write. Anyways, after having a lovely chat with one of my closets friends I realized maybe it’s time to revisit writing on a frequent basis again? Reading old blog entries lit that spark within me. I wouldn’t say I am feeling lost or anything, I just miss the feeling that blogging gives me. I used to feel so inspired, motivated, rejuvenated, and strong after I would finish a blog entry. It helps me grow as a person, and it helps keep what’s important to me fresh in my mind. Life is always hectic one way or another and sometimes it’s easy to be blinded.

I guess I did have stuff to say.. lol. Anyways to wrap this up, I’m excited to feel inspired again.

2013 New Years Resolution: Blog More.

I don’t wanna be anything other than me.

Lately Ive been feeling like I need to do something more. Like I need to make a differnece somehow but I don’t know how or what I am
looking for. How do you make your life matter? I want to know I’m affecting someones life in a positive way that leaves a real impact.
I feel like right now I’m just living, but I’m not doing anything important, or making any sort of lasting impact.

One of my favorite T.V shows “One Tree Hill” came to an end last night. This show has always been a huge inspiration for me. I’ve
never connected with a show like I have with “One Tree Hill” It’s weird to have grown up with a show, and watch it come to an end. For
the last 9 years One Tree Hill has been a huge part of my life, bigger then I could have ever imagined. Which is weird since it is
just a show, but it’s also so much more. I was in 10th grade when One Tree Hill began. I really do believe part of who am I is because
of what I learned from watching this show. It definitely has always inspired me to make my life matter, and to do great things.

I put a lot of emotion behind everything I do. I always consider the fact that everything I’m doing has the ability to change my life,
and to leave a lasting memory so I always try to make whatever I am doing count. I really think a huge part of why I’m like that is
from this show, or maybe I connect with the show so well because I am like that? I guess I’m not sure but I do know One Tree Hill has
given me direction, courage, and it has taught me a lot about myself. I’ve learned about my compassion, and to never be afraid to care
too much about anything. I’m never in fear of loving something or someone too much, and I don’t regret taking chances. I’m not afraid
of rejection. I’ll always regret not sharing my feelings so openly or to have others not know how I feel, but I’ll never regret the
fact that I did share my feelings. Rejection and dissapointment is a part of life and it’s important to experience it. It’s how you
learn about yourself and what’s important to you.

Back to the show for a second.. I feel like it’s time for it to end, but I’ll miss having it in my life. It’s the end of an era. The
show had such a beautiful cast and it was awesome watching them grow up with the show. It may have not always been the most creative  story line or the best acting but they always did everything in their own way and made it special. They new how to connect with their fans, and they created really inspiring messages during every season. In my opinion the best and most real episode was the school shooting. Which was a huge epsiode for the remaing premise of the show, if you are a fan you know what I am talking about. That episode was so real, and important. It would be impossible to not grasp the emotion behing every scene in that episode. Of course
there was tons of other episodes that were amazing, and heart warming, or inspiring. I just think that one was exceptionally amazing. My love for music began with this show, music is a huge part of “One Tree Hill” and the show really showed me how much music can affect your life and your feelings. Music is therapy to me now and a huge part of my life, so I’m very thankful this show helped me find that. It was a show about growing up, like tons of shows are but this one just knew how to really connect with the fans.

The biggest impact I get from this show is how everything we do affects everyones life and it’s important to do great things so that you
make real impact that matters. Last nights episode reminded me how important it is to me to make a difference but I’m still struggling
with how to. Maybe there isn’t one thing that I can do that will fufill this feeling. Maybe I’ll never feel like I’m making an impact,
I’m not sure. I guess we all search and wonder what were supposed to be doing right? Still I have this feeling there is something
more I can be doing, I just need to find it. Until then I’ll just keep being me because I know through all my faults I have a lot of
great qualities too and I will eventually find exactly what I am supposed to be doing. Until then I’ll just continue this lovely roller coaster called life.

Make a wish and place it in your heart.
Anything you want, everything you want.
Do you have it? Good!
Now believe it can come true.
You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from.
The next memory, the next smile, the next whish come true.
But if you believe that it’s right around the corner
and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it,
to the certainty of it.
You just might get the thing you wished for,
The world is full of magic.
You just have to believe in it.
So make your wish. Do you have it?
Good! Now believe in it with all your heart.

Pop, Lock, and Drop It

I was reading random blogs about random stuff .. random right? Anyways there was one that talked about resolutions and talked mostly about the ever so common resolution: losing weight/getting healthy/exercising … you know THAT one.

I wonder how many people actually make that resolution each year? It’s a GREAT goal, resolution, plan (whatever you want to call it) but sadly not many people keep with it. I’ll admit I’ve made that goal, and have failed at it countess times. I’m human, it’s cool .. one of these days I’ll get it!

So within all these blogs there was a lot of pictures, with inspiring quotes to make you want to get up and start running or to go eat an apple.  Most of them though are so overused though that they are as effective as a big mac.  Then I saw it .. all shiny, bright, and glowing (okay okay it’s really not that epic) but it was more real to me then any of the other “It will be hard, but it will be worth it” quotes I read. Okay are you ready for it? Dim the lights! Ladies and Gentleman, I give you … The Truth!

You’re in awe, right? I know I know. It’s a shocking truth.. to think you could go to the gym and leave feeling (dare I say it?) Good?? Yep! It’s true! I’m pretty sure I’ve never left the gym going “ugh I really wish I didn’t work out tonight” one time I fractured my toe, and lost my toe nail in result of it and I still left satisfied!

I just need to make myself more accountable, maybe if I set up something on here and promise to be honest. Then if I don’t go to the gym, or I eat something god awfully delish but full of calories I could make you all promise to say horrible things to me or come throw a rock at me? That may be a little drastic but I’ll play around with some ideas.

If you have any ideas on how to keep myself more accountable you should comment below and let me know!

XOXO Kayla

2011 Recap

 

I was adventuring around the interweb tonight, reading random blogs and all that wonderful stuff when I realized a common theme. A lot of bloggers have been answering questions about the past year so that they can reflect on what they have overcome, what they have accomplished, and what they maybe didn’t accomplish. Then they answered another set of questions about the upcoming year. What they want to accomplish, their goals and need I say it “resolutions” (I don’t fully believe in resolutions but I’ll explain that later).

All this got me thinking about my past year, and how different my life is today, compared to one year ago. I don’t want to answer the list of questions I read because honestly for most of the questions I thought about what my answers would be and most of them would have been the generic typical answers. I do however want to take a few moments to reflect on 2011.

2011 tested me in so many different ways, which I am really thankful for. I’ve learned so much about myself this year. I put myself in a rather low place  in 2010/2011. I didn’t have much going on (I wasn’t in school, I didn’t work, and I spent my days doing a lot of nothing), I was dealing with a relationship roller coaster, and most of all I wasn’t proud of anything I was doing. Then I decided enough is enough, and I made myself fix things.

Throughout the year I accomplished things I’ve never done before, I’ve become so much more independent, I’ve developed a new confidence in myself, and I’ve learned that my life can be anything I want it to be but I will be the only one to make it happen. I can honestly say now that I’m proud of myself, who I am, where I am, and where I want to be. I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I have faith in myself that I will continue to make my life amazing.

I would have never gotten through all the obstacles without my amazing friends and family. I have a great support system (which I have mentioned over and over throughout my blog but it’s so true). You can’t really ever fall completely if you have people like them holding you up :) I love you all!

Adios 2011 .. I more than excited for 2012!

I was going through reading old blog entries of mine, and thought “I miss this” so guess what!? I’m back! Okay okay .. you can all stop applauding now, I know you missed me (please understand from this point on that I’m sarcastic 99.9% of the time). Just like before .. I do this more for me,  Writing helps me find direction in what I want to do. It makes me feel good, and I like sharing things I find with others.

If anything I ever post helps anyone who’s reading then that’s just a bonus =D

For real though .. if you read my blog then Thank You! It’s cool to know others like what you have to say. I’ll share some skittles with you or something :)

Woo Hoo! Feels good to be back. Let’s all do the hokey pokey.

https://makebelievetillnothingsreal.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/294/

You should watch this.

What are your thoughts on this video? It’s a little heartbreaking at the end I think. The momma bird looks so confused and lost on where her babies went. Could you imagine just leaving your Mom/Family once you reached a certain age without them knowing, and never going to visit them again? Sure we eventually go out on our own but we always (usually) have ties with our families still.

Warrior Dash 2011

The main reason I am blogging about my Warrior Dash experience is because when I was first deciding if I wanted to do it or not, I read other people’s blogs about their experiences which ultimately gave me the motivation I needed to do it.

All said and done I’m very proud of myself for doing the Warrior Dash, and I will definitely be doing it again next year. A year ago, heck even 6 months ago I would not even consider this. I would of looked at it and just moved along without any consideration of signing up.

Was it hard? Yes, It was hard and exhausting. Mainly the hills on our course was where the challenge came. We had steep ski hills to run up and down. Depending on what state your doing this in you may have more or less hills. Our’s was held at one of our biggest ski resorts.

Was it worth is? Yes. The minute you cross the finish line, all the pain and exhaustion you were feeling disappear. The last three obstacles right at the end are so fun they make the whole thing worth it. Plus how accomplished you feel when it’s over makes it worth it.

All shapes, sizes, and fitness levels can do this race. Everyone’s doing it to have fun. That’s the most important part. If your considering doing the Warrior Dash this year or next I encourage you to do so! You’ll love it and be so happy that you did!!

A lot of people dress up in costumes for the race. We dressed as Angry Birds, which was so much fun. I definitely recommend planning a costume for you and your group.

 

Something I believe in so strongly but I forget so often! A while back I posted an idea about taking quotes and putting them on a poster. I plan on making that soon and this will Definitely be on it!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://makebelievetillnothingsreal.wordpress.com/2011/07/18/275/

Clever

 

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